oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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