i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
