Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
