Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You were trust falling into bushes
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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