his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
