The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
