My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
