This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
