yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
