Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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