someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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