I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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