i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
