Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You may now shotgun with the bride
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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