Got a toothbrush?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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