i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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