be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
