she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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