Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
