belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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