Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
