Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
