Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
