ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
