You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
