You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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