what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
