im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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