She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
