I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
