i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
