i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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