i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm gonna have a badass scar
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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