I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
