I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
