its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize