Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
it hurts more in the daytime
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
