I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
