He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
