Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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