well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
