no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
