why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He passed out mid-signature
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
