So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
