Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Randomize
