I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
