I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
