Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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