i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just sucked dick on a ferry
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
