I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
